Psalm 34:17 “The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles.”
I had such an interesting blog I was going to write but it will have to wait another day. In spite of sweethearts best advice, I get onto a website each night that updates me on the day’s casualties in Afghanistan. It is something that few can understand….a mom’s desire to know what is happening each and every minute of the day as our children fight a war against an evil we can barely understand. We prowl the internet looking for any word, any sentence, any picture that might be our soldier son or daughter. We send one liners to each other, texting prayer requests, holding each other close in internet hugs, waking at odd hours to check our phone for any sign of a call from our loved one. We cry silently into our pillows, pace the floor, search countless stores for the perfect snack food to fill a box with. We buy several hundred hand warmers, learn to double bag boxes of milk and captain crunch, and know the postal people by first name.
Tonight a soldier from 1/8 Marines was killed in Helmund province. To me, as a mom, this means that the wings of the angel of death brushed by my son. Another fallen soldier. A mother’s son. A husband. A brother. A cousin. Sadness has come to a house that just yesterday was sending off a Christmas box, laughing and wondering how much more they could put into the box. A mother’s pillow wet with tears, held by a stoic father who struggles to keep himself together. A moment ago, they prayed for the safety of their son. Now they pray for his soul as he enters the gates of heaven.
This is every mother’s nightmare. To be where I am tonight. Wondering how close the angel came to my baby boy. Wondering if he felt the beating of the wings as his marine brother was carried to the arms of God. Wracked with guilt because of the feeling of relief that the knock didn’t come to my door. I pray for strength to overcome the fear that threatens to overwhelm me again tonight.
Psalm 30:5 “Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”
This verse is hard. I will weep tonight for another woman’s son. I will pray for her to feel the Lord’s healing touch. God gives us reason to hope and each sunrise brings us that much closer to our eternital destiny. Yet the thought that tomorrow I will rejoice is a bitter pill to swallow tonight. These are the moments of motherhood that tear at the very fiber of our soul. My sweetheart will hold me close tonight. God will hold my heart. My friends will hold my hand tomorrow. Prayers will rise up from many homes tonight. My son and his brothers will kneel in the sands of a desert far away and weep for the loss of one of their own. Lift them up daily. Never forget that someone is willing to die for your ability to rejoice in your day.