Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart: and lean not unto thine own understanding.” KJV
As the mother of a soldier fighting in a faraway war in Afghanistan, I sometimes forget to let the Lord handle my fear. It creeps up on me and slowly winds it’s way around my heart. Before I know it, I am wallowing in the deepest throes of my self made hell. No matter what those around me say or do, I just can’t let go of the fear. I must continue to function, continue to smile, continue to work. I cook, I clean, I drive, I volunteer. But inside, I am consumed. My sweetheart bears the brunt of these times. It is like I have died but I am still living.
Tonight it came through the military channels that another soldier in my son’s unit had died. I don’t know him. I don’t know his family. I don’t even know if my son knew him personally. But I know that the pain I feel is as close to it happening to me as I want to get. This isn’t the first blog that I have written on this subject. And it probably won’t be the last. Too many soldiers have been taken from us in this war.
I have no words to write tonight. My heart is hurting and afraid. I am trying desperately to hand it back to God. I hear Him. I feel Him. His arms are around me through His angel that is my sweetheart. I can only keep saying the verse that gets me through these tough times. Please pray for this soldier who went home to God tonight. Pray for another mother left childless. Pray for this war to end. Pray for peace especially during this holiday season. Your prayers change fear to strength and tears to joy. I am grateful for the peace that your prayers bring.
Proverbs 3:24 When thous liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: year thou shalt lie down and thy sleep shall be sweet. “