Psalm 50:2 “From Zion, perfect in beauty, God shines forth.” NIV
Sometimes, as I sit outside during my devotion time, the words get stuck just beyond my thought process. It is not that I think that my Abba is not talking but more that I am not listening. My mind is filled with clutter, things to be done, things that need to be undone, kids and grandkids. This is bad enough when you are just trying to pray and commune with Him but when you are writing for Him it is beyond frustrating.
There is a plant that sits outside my back door. I have no idea what kind of plant it is. Sadly, I am known for my ability to kill every kind of plant. Sweetheart plays the funeral march whenever I come home with some new and beautiful flower pot. The children tease that I have a plant graveyard in the backyard. Second oldest daughter swears I can kill a plastic plant. This particular leafy green species was for sale outside the grocery store. I swear that they put those things out there, with a “on sale” tag just for plant killers like me. My rationale becomes that at least if it dies, I didn’t spend that much for it. (I see your eyes rolling dear) As it has survived the severe drought of hell, I mean Texas, even with my infrequent watering, I have started to learn something from this sturdy little plant.
When I come outside in the mornings, the sun is not up yet. I would love to say the air is cool and refreshing but that would be an outright lie. Let’s just say that it is less hot than it will be in a couple of hours. My little plant is just beginning to show signs of pink flowers. The leaves are closed and the plant looks rather ragged. As the light grows stronger, the plant begins to open up to the world. The flowers spread their petals towards the sun, making what was a drab little plant into a stunning display of green and pink. It’s sister plant (yes, I bought two. They were on sale!) is all decked out in yellow and green.
It came to me this morning that I am much like these plants. When I come out here in the mornings, I am often closed up to what He wants to say to me. My mind is jumbled with worldly thoughts, a few grumbles, and often a lot of frustration. I feel frumpy and inadequate, doubting my worth to the world, unhappy with this fifteen (ok, twenty) pounds that won’t leave, and more often than not, overwhelmed with the tasks before me on this day. I feel plain and green (think Wicked the musical) and pretty much incapable of His plans for me. But as I sit, soaking in His light, reading His words, Hearing His voice, a change begins to take place. I begin to open up. My mind begins to clear of negative thoughts. I remember how much He did for me and does for me. My heart becomes filled with gratitude. I am reminded that He has a plan for everything. I can’t share His gifts if I am closed up. When I am filled with Him, I am beautiful to the world. I pray that I might be mindful of this as I go about my day. Let everyone I meet be drawn to His presence in me. Let me share what He has given me. Let me not be plain and green (that would freak people out now wouldn’t it) but let me show the world what a beautiful daughter He has made.