Psalm 133:1 “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” NIV
Oh how my heart has changed in just the space of 72 hours. What was beautiful before is glorious now. What was happiness before is blessedness now. I am on the path I was destined to be on before I was born. For it is written in Psalm 139:16 “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” NLT
This weekend I have been attending a conference in Concord, NC. It is put on by Proverbs 31 Ministries www.proverbs31.org. It is for women who have a burning desire to write or speak in ministry for our God. He has convicted us to share our stories of His Hand in our lives. I must admit I was terrified to come here. Sure I have been speaking and writing for years but only on a secular level. It’s easy to speak about things you think you are an expert on. (Notice I said think I am an expert on!) You can take what you know and caveat it with statements such as “in my opinion” or “what I’ve learned”. But this! This path He has called me to is so much scarier. Who am I that I could teach other’s about His majesty? Who am I that I could call someone to hear about their Lord and Savior? My life is but a pathway strewn with brokenness and unworthy behavior. I am but an infant in this walk of Christianity.
What He has pressed upon my heart this weekend is that we all have a gift. Some of us know our gift from the very beginning of our being and some of us stumble around in the dark until we trip over the gift. I can not have some one’s else’s gift. I can not use some one else’s talents. I am fearfully and wonderfully made to use my gift for His Glory. We hear continuously in the Christian walk that if our words or actions bring but one person to know Him, we have done a good thing. I have come to understand that it is His grace that covers my brokenness. It is His grace that removes my guilt and shame. More importantly, it is His grace that has gifted me with this chance to bring but one person to know Him.
I knew that I was in the right place when I went into the prayer room at the conference. In this room are placed the names of every woman who is here, both the teachers and the students, the leaders and the followers, the paid and the unpaid. Before the conference even began, before the first book was opened and the first song was sung, our names were prayed over and placed on tables to be a constant reminder of His love for us. The tables are filled with paper, the names of our God beautifully inscribed. El Shaddai, Jehovah, Yahweh. My heart was called to visit the room, even in my feelings of awkwardness and unworthiness. As I approached the tables where the names were placed, my heart leapt in my chest. For my name was beside the name that is burned into the fabric of my soul. My Adonai, my Abba, my Father. It was then that I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, with every single piece of who I am and who I have become, that my God is an Awesome God.