Psalms 73:26 “My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” KJV
I watched you over the holidays. Your laugh, your smile, your frowns, your hugs are all filed away in my heart. I kept thinking of you as a small child. Always in trouble. Always being the class clown. Always in the emergency room for something. When family gathers around the table, it is always your exploits we laugh about. Remember when he did this? Remember when he did that? Remember when he was the only one who?
Yet I remember other things as well. The pride I felt when you received your Eagle Scout award, joining your brother in that elite group. The overwhelming sense of amazement when I watched you graduate from boot camp, thinner, taller, stronger, but with the same gentle hug that makes you my little boy. I remember watching you walk down the aisle of the church, welcoming Christ into your heart. I love the sound of your singing as you lift your voice to the Lord in praise.
I stood beside you as you shouldered your weapon, lifted your ruck, preparing to board the bus that would take you to the plane that would carry you off to war. I tried to memorize your every move, your laughing eyes, your hug, the sound of your voice. I kept my tears inside, pasting on the fake smile that every mom had in that room. I kept my voice light, my laughter forced out between the moments of quiet that came in bursts. You were anxious to go, anxious to be beside your brothers, anxious to do what you have been trained to do. You stood beside us but your mind was already far, far away.
I will go about my days, making meals, watching grandchildren, cleaning the house, working in ministry. I will be strong because that is what is expected of me. But in my quiet time, I will count the days until you return. I will plead with God for safe passage for you and your fellow soldiers. I will hold His scriptures close in my heart to comfort and guide me. You are His warrior, fighting for His cause, keeping the enemy from our gate. I know that He walks daily on the battlefield with each of you.
You father and your two moms raised you to be a child of God. We did all we could do when you were young. Now you are grown and off to war. Take the things you were taught and share them with your brothers. Let them know that God is able and willing. Remind them daily that He is there beside you. Remember who you are. Put aside the demons that haunt you and step up to what He has called you to do. In James 1:2-3 you are told “consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.”
I love you, youngest son of mine. I know that you are where you want to be. I know that you love God with all of your heart. I know that you can, and will, make us all proud. Remember the prayer of King David in Psalms 91. Read it every day. Emblazon it on your heart. Remember that “He will give His angels orders concerning you, to protect you in all your ways” Psalms 91:11 Call upon Him at every opportunity. He will always answer.
@2012 Michelle Welch
HCSB bible used