I am headed out of town for a week. My doctor said either I get away and get some rest or she is going to put me away to rest. I did not like the sound of that!!!!! For those of you that think I have it all together, here is proof that I do not! It has been a little stressful to say the least lately what with kids and home and kids and life and did I say kids? Sweetheart and I are headed, along with silly dog, to a barrier island off the coast to let me reset myself. He is suffering through the camping. You are allowed to lay bets on how long it takes him to convince me to head back to the mainland to the Marriott. (He won’t but we won’t tell him that). Hugs to you all. There will be lots of writing and pictures taken for the days and weeks ahead. I know that in the solitude, God will fill my heart with all that He wants to share with you, my dearest friends. This blog was written last year, not long after I discovered Beth Moore and her wonderful Bible studies. If you have the chance, take one. Your life will never be the same. She is an amazing daughter of God.
Proverbs 30:5 “Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.” NIV
When life is going good, I often don’t hear the whispers in my soul. I get busy with life, work, church, friends. I move along, doing things that need to be done, surrounded by noise and chaos and just being. I look around and think silly things like “I am glad I am not her” or “at least I didn’t do that”. It’s a horrible way to be and I am instantly ashamed of those thoughts. When you are just moving through life on autopilot and the days turn into weeks and months, it’s easy to forget your Abba. I do my devotions and say my prayers but it quickly evolves into my daily checklist. I know that you have heard many women say that exact thing. Our pastors warn us about having a checklist of Godly things. Of course, I nod my head in church and say that it will never happen to me. We spoke of this the other night at my women’s bible study. When things are going along and we get complacent, it’s easy to forget God.
It’s also easy to get comfortable in our sin. Beth Moore calls it friendly captivity. How often are things going along so well in our “worldly” life that we start to fall into the trap of living in the world? Sundays are our only day off so sleeping in instead of going to church becomes an easy choice. Hey! Church is even on the internet so how cool is that? I can turn on my computer and watch church from the comfort of my pajamas. There is nothing but R rated movies on at the theatre but hey it’s date night and we have free passes. It can’t be that bad. Everyone said it’s a fantastic movie. If you just ignore the sex, violence, and vulgar language. I am a good Christian so I won’t let those things effect me. I am better than that. And isn’t that the lady from church sitting right over there? The kids want to watch a comedy show on tv. It’s full of vile language and sexual innuendos but hey! It’s won an Emmy and at least the kids are at home with us instead of out with their friends. I had to pay a little less tithing this week but hey! I have to have that Iphone because it keeps me in touch with kids and friends. And you know that cable/internet bill is so high but we can’t not have the tv and computer. How would we stay up to date on what’s going on in the world? Reading the paper is so yesterday and the news is a day late.
And so it goes. On and on and on. I lied to my boss but at least I don’t have to have that confrontation. I yelled at that driver beside me but she was cutting me off. I spoke over someone else at bible study but they weren’t saying anything important anyway. I ignored a call from a loved one but they probably just want to whine to me and I am very busy. I didn’t clean the kitchen today but I have a blog to write. Ooops. Didn’t mean to write that! It’s just so easy to slip into bad habits again. To watch my days slip by and not feel like I am doing anything of value. But things are going well. There is no chaos. Bills are paid, house is clean (enough) and baby needs to be rocked. God understands that I need some rest. Doesn’t He? Hhhhmmmmm. I would imagine that He shakes His head and wonders how I came up one crayon short in my box. Again.
I don’t want to turn to my Abba only in times of trouble or fear. I want Him to be my daily Comforter. My daily Peace Giver. My daily Writer of things I need to do. I need to write out my list and present it to Him for revisions. I want to walk in His light all the day long. He should be the first thought of my morning and the last thought of my evening. He has been speaking to me for weeks and months about moving my life out of my worldly ways. He even sent me to a Bible study about Daniel and is teaching me about living in Babylon but not letting Babylon live in me.
Dearest Father, I get it. I hear You. I am stubborn and foolish but I know that You are patient and kind. I know that You will keep whispering my name and shining Your light in my path. You are an awesome God. You have surrounded me with everything I need to get it right. Let me hear your voice, even when I am surrounded by the noise of the world. Let me be so attuned to Your Holy Spirit that I can hear even the sound of His breath. Let me always be in tune to the needs of others. Let my life be an offering to You. And please Lord, let me have an entire box of crayons to work with.