Psalm 119:28 “My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word.”
First let me say that I am sorry for letting so many days go by without writing. But like the old I Love Lucy show where Ricky tells Lucy that “she’s got some ‘splainin to do”, there is something I need to share with you, my dear readers.
At first I was not going to write about the event that preceded our camping trip, wanting to keep a piece of myself private. Today my dearest Abba led me to some scriptures that soothed my soul and let me know that if I want to share the joy with you, I also have to share the pain. Opening up my heart in my sorrow is not easy for me so please bear with me.
Friday morning of last week, as we got up to leave for our camping trip, I found that my beloved dog Cali had passed away in the night. Her smiling eyes had greeted me every morning for over 11 years. Her wiggly butt and her toothy grin had become a part of my morning routine. To see her lying there, still and quiet, hurt my heart more than I ever dreamed possible.
Twelve years ago I decided that I needed a dog. I had always been partial to Australian Shepherds. Their intelligence and beauty set them apart from the average dog. I knew that I wanted a well bred Aussie as I intended to compete in both conformation and agility. After much research, I settled on an upcoming litter from a friend in California. Friends, family, and customers all counted down the days until the arrival of the puppies.
When she was 30 minutes old I met her online. When she was two months old I flew to California to meet her in person. When she was three months old I flew back to California to bring her home to North Carolina. From that day forward she was as much a part of my life as eating and breathing. I took her everywhere I went, including boating and motorcycle riding. She was a true family member.
Her show career took her from one side of the country to the other. in the end, she was number 3 in the nation, titled in 4 countries, earning the name International Grand Champion Bit O Blarney Calico Magic. But to us, she was just Cali. Always happy, always willing to please, always ready to swim, always looking for a snack.
She was always a part of my children’s lives. School pictures, vacation pictures, holiday pictures. They all included Cali. She let them dress her up, learned all kinds of crazy tricks so they could be in talent shows, and never complained when she had to be yellow or pink or red, white and blue for a parade. She was the perfect pet.
I did not know that it would be so hard to let her go. Before we left for the beach, a wonderful man from Live Oak Pet Services was kind enough to meet us before hours. As we drove out of the driveway of his home, I guess I just set thoughts of what had happened aside. As if she were staying overnight at a friends house.
When I got up that first morning after arriving home, the grief hit me like a tidal wave. I have wallowed in my sorrow, barely getting dressed, playing hours of computer games just to keep my mind off of reality. Last night God gently whispered that it was time to move on. Time to turn my sorrow over to Him. I have babies to care for and words to write. A house to clean and a son to take to the dentist.
Dearest Adonai, thank you for letting me have time to grieve. Thank you for giving me such a special girl who healed my heart so many times. Thank You for letting me know that it is ok to share. Thank You for my friends and readers who love me so much and pray for me daily. I am so grateful for them. I feel their prayers as they lift me up each and every day. I know that You create magnificent creatures for us to love and cherish. Thank You for sharing her with me. In the name of Christ Jesus, Amen