Esther 4:14 “….And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?”
It’s four thirty in the morning. Four thirty eight to be exact. Who gets up this early? There is not even news on at this hour! It is dark for crying out loud. Silly dog even gave me the evil eye when I asked her if she wanted to go outside. I swear she was cursing me out with her eyes. In whatever language dogs use to do that sort of thing. Of course, she is probably much more emotionally evolved than I so she was surely not using the kind of words that filled my head.
Yet in front of me sits a happy cherubic 8 month old who thinks that four thirty eight in the morning is an outstanding time of the day to wake up and greet the world. Her giggles and chortles (I love obscure words) fill the kitchen as I stumble about trying to make sense of the water faucet and the Keurig. To be sure coffee will come out of this thing if I stare at it long enough. I grumble about finding my favorite coffee cup only to realize that someone forgot to start the dishwasher again last night. Who puts soap in the dishwasher but doesn’t turn it on when they close it? What kind of maniacs do I live with?
I take the age old short cut of breakfast and throw a handful of cheerios onto the tray in front of the baby. I finally get liquid gold to come out of the Keurig. Of course a clean spoon would be too much to ask and I know that smell coming from the half and half container is definitely not what it should be. I tip the sugar container up and pour some into my coffee telling myself that I just added about 2 tablespoons to my cup (more like a quarter of a cup but who’s counting). Soon caffeine courses blissfully through my veins, allowing me to assess the current state of affairs.
Sweetheart and I now have custody of sweet baby Lyric and darling Coda. We laugh at the fact that we once wanted to live in a gated community. God heard our wish but this wasn’t exactly what we had in mind. There are gates to keep them from opening other gates. Silly dog has grown tired of trying to figure out where she is supposed to be, resigning herself to living under the kitchen table or on the couch. Sweetheart and next to oldest son are tall so they can step over the gates. I usually make at least one aborted attempt each day to step over only to find myself falling either forward or backward, landing in some sort of painful yoga like position on the tile floor.
In the course of the coming days the tone of my blogs will begin to change. God has laid it upon my heart that there are many women (and men) just like sweetheart and I. Parenting our grandchildren was not on our bucket list. (This puts a serious cramp in our ability to ride every wooden roller coaster in the country, parasail in the Bahamas, and go rafting down the Snake River). Yet each day we meet more and more couples in our situation. Couples as dazed and confused by the dizzying turn of events as we are.
There are many emotions that have come along with this change in plans. There are days of laughter, days of pain, days of heartache, days of anger, days of loneliness, days of wondering what you did wrong and days of overwhelming gratitude. Let’s walk through them together. Please share your questions, your concerns, your thoughts. Remember that you never walk alone. In addition to our Adonai who holds our hand every step of the way, there are thousand (yes THOUSANDS) of others just like you who look around and wonder “why me?”
Dearest Father God, Your tired discouraged children come before You. We may not understand why You have brought us forth “for such a time as this” but we do know that You know every step before we take it. Let us trust that You will be there to guide us and deliver us when the darkness of fear and anger threatens to overwhelm us. Let those who are like minded come together to learn from each other, lifting each other up, bearing each other’s burdens. We may not be able to hold hands but we can hold hearts Father. Let our prayers for each other rise up to Heaven and let your mercy rain down upon us. Give us all we need to fulfill the calling you have placed upon us. In Christ’s name we pray, Amen
copyright 2012, Michelle Welch, Breath Of Life Women’s Ministry
photography by Michelle Welch, all rights reserved
scripture from NIV1984 Bible