This weekend I attended the Declare Conference. I know, I know. I can just hear it now. “Here she goes again talking about another great conference that is going to change her writing forever. Now she’s going to reconfigure her blog again. I wonder which rabbit trail she will head down this time.” I often tell you of grandiose ideas that whip through my mind, ideas of recipe swaps, giveaways, and writing a best selling novel all while doing my daily chaos dance!
I went to Declare determined to take my blog to the next level. To see my subscription numbers increase. To write more than once a month. To see my name printed on the program. And dare I say it…to get paid for writing. Because let’s face it. There are very few of us who write because we have a generous financier who allows us to just sit at a desk day after day after day, pausing only to seek out the closest Starbucks or order Chinese food from our favorite restaurant.
But God I want to be somebody.
And yet life gets in the way of those dreams. We have to wash clothes and water lawns and sweep kitchens and clean toilets and wipe poopy butts and take kids to the doctor and chase the dog around the neighborhood. We have to wince when our handicapped child insults the cashier once again and schedule surgery for the torn Achilles tendon from that incident with the grandchild with the shopping cart and sob on our knees when our prodigal ends up in jail once again. We have to fight and make up with our spouse and miss another birthday and stand up another friend at lunch because one of our children had yet another emergency.
But God I want to make a difference.
Then there are the needs of my church. A ministry to volunteer for. A meal to fix for the sick. A backpack to fill. Bible study to attend. House church. Student ministry. A mission trip to raise money for. A prayer session for the city, the schools, the situations around the world.
But God I want to chase my dream.
I mean really. Who wants to hear the story of how I stopped at Cracker Barrel on my drive to North Carolina when I should have been at home writing? Or how I stayed at a campground in a small town in Alabama where I slept with my gun in my hand when I should have been at home writing? Or how I took the grand kids to the pool when I should have been at home writing? Or how we ate ice cream for dinner with cereal for dessert (because that’s what grandparents do) when I should have been upstairs writing?
But God I want to be special.
In an instant a whisper comes deep into my soul. No. Not a whisper. A strong stirring like a rushing wind, loudly disturbing the silence in the room. “Turn my heart toward Your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to Your word.” Psalm 119:36-37
And my knees buckle in shame. Oh Father God I am not worthy. I am prideful and self-serving and selfish.
The Holy Spirit whispers “But my child you are all of those things you desire to be and more. Look at what you do. Look at where you go. Look at the people whose lives you touch. Stop seeking after the things of the world.”
So sweet friends…this is my takeaway this year from the Declare Conference. Sometimes that step of Wild Obedience is to not step out at all. It is to keep doing the normal things in our normal lives in a normal way. It is to “Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds; for riches do not endure forever, and a crown is not secure for all generations.” Prov 27:23-24 It is to not worry about subscriptions and numbers and followers and tweets and Instagrams. It is to be a part of the body of Christ right where I am. It is to keep writing on my simple little blog, telling the stories of my regular life, being a part of my community church, teaching my kids, taking care of my grand kids, and loving my husband. It is to heed His desires in every part of my life. More than anything it is to stop saying “but God…..” and replace it with “yes God”.
How can you become wildly obedient right where you are?
Many hugs along with a day full of smiles,
©2014MichelleWelch, team member of Breath Of Life Women’s Ministries
photography by Michelle Welch, all rights reserved
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