This is a repost of a blog I wrote 2 years ago. It really has been on my mind lately as I struggle to get out of my desire to just stay in my pajamas and hide away from the world.
“”In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,” Ephesians 4:26
Have you ever gone to church in a bad mood? Maybe you just had a fight with your spouse? The kids spilled milk all over the table just before you got ready to walk out the door? Halfway to church you realized your hose had a run in them? (I know that hose are not popular these days but trust me when I say that there was a time when you did not go to church without a dress and hosiery on)
Recently I had one of those days. No, not the hose. No, not the milk. Yes to the “marital enrichment session” between breakfast and the long silent drive to the place of forgiveness and grace. Did I walk in with a fake smile on my face? You betcha!!!! Did I feel ready to meet God at during the praise and worship session? Absolutely not!
But the truth is that even though I was spitting mad (a southern term for those in the north), I knew that I had to go. I craved the peace that I knew would come with being in that dark sanctuary where no one could see the tears of remorse running down my face. I knew that in singing my praises to God, He would cover me with the mercy I so desperately needed.
For many years I stayed away from meeting with God for any reason I could think of. Mad at my spouse? No prayer time. Mad at the women who snubbed me? No women’s Bible study. Mad at my job, my life, my circumstance? No reading of the scriptures. It didn’t take much to convince me that I could skip anything to do with God…especially if I had recently sinned, an all too frequent occurrence.
Anger was a coat I wore more often than I wanted to admit. It is something I struggle with even today. It is quick to boil up, especially when I am stressed or tired or struggling with my depression again. But the difference now is that I know that I need to go straight to God with my anger. I need to move closer to Him and ask His help in overcoming my wild emotions.
I am not going to lie to you. It is hard to pick up your Bible when you really just want to pick up a stone. It is hard to turn on praise and worship music when your mind is filled with words of condemnation. And it is especially hard to walk into church when you just let your mouth spew things best left unsaid.
But if you look at the verse carefully it says “in your anger do not sin.” Do not turn away from the One who can, and will, bring you back to a place of peace. Do not turn to the world to soothe your anger. Be the first to apologize, even if you did not start it. Seek out the scriptures that will calm the rolling emotions of your soul. Go to your knees and meet with your Abba who wants to help you through. More than anything, keep your appointment with God every day. He will never be late and will always be waiting for you.
Dearest Adonai, thank You for bringing me to a place of peace. Thank You for the women at church who reach out with hugs and smiles. Thank You for my husband who so readily forgives his strong-willed wife. I am so grateful for the mercy and grace that You so freely pour over my dried up heart, bringing it back to fullness and love. I pray that I will seek out those who are broken. That I will see into the eyes of the downhearted and offer them love and comfort. I know that there are so many women like me who just need to find peace in Your Holy Presence. Let me show them the way. In the name of Christ Jesus, Amen
Blessings and thanks for sharing the journey,
©2015MichelleWelch Originally posted as Never Miss A Meeting©2013Michelle Welch, team member of Breath Of Life Women’s Ministries and Single Matters Magazine
photography by Michelle Welch, all rights reserved
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