“From heaven the Lord looks down
and sees all mankind;
from his dwelling place he watches
all who live on earth—
he who forms the hearts of all,
who considers everything they do.”
Sometimes parenting sucks. Yes. I said it. Because it’s just the truth even if we aren’t supposed to say it. From the blow out diapers and sleepless nights straight through to the midnight phone calls and poor life choices they make, there are just moments when you can only slide down to the floor and cry out to God in exhaustion and defeat.
Somewhere along the way I bought into the theory that once they were grown and gone things would get better. That my phone calls would be filled with cute antidotes of what my sweet grandchildren had done that day or notification of a raise, a degree, a success. That my time would be spent planning grandiose family vacations or opening the door to a surprise visit. That sweetheart and I could toast each other across the table and breath a sigh of relief that our lives had finally reached a level of a somewhat manageable chaos.
But the truth is that parenting never slows down. It just reaches a new level of chaos that unfortunately, you no longer get to control or manage. All you can do is smile or pray or cry as you watch them succeed or fail or crash and burn with staggering results.
You have to watch them turn to complete strangers for the wisdom you would so gladly share with them. Or worse you watch them accept lies as truth even after you have shown them otherwise. You have to grit your teeth and smile as they spend holidays with someone else. You get your news of their lives on Facebook or Instagram, places you detest but have to participate in because otherwise you would have no idea what was going on in their little corner of the world.
Yet as I sat here this morning, wiping tears from my eyes from yet another morning spent on my knees for my family, God spoke tender words to my heart. “From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind” (Psalm 33:13) He reminded me with a gentle touch and a whisper from His Spirit, that He knows and understands my bewildered soul.
He offers me His truth yet I turn to the lies of the enemy.
He offers me His love yet I seek the shallow affection of the world.
He wants me to sit and talk to Him yet I spend countless hours seeking after mindless distractions.
He wants me to come to Him with my fears, my joys, my worries yet I only complain about my current situation as if He doesn’t want me to be happy.
I too often forget that He is the perfect parent, ready at any moment to take away my cares and give me His peace.
Forgive me Father for not remembering that You too have given much as a parent. That you have watched Your children suffer, bleed, and even die. That You love with an endless abounding love that is greater than anything I can ever comprehend. Thank You for the whispers of Your Holy Spirit as You reach out in love to this broken child. Thank You for reminding me that this side of Heaven there will always be sin and chaos, even in the face of all the goodness that You desire for us. Let me seek hard after everything that You have for me, even in the midst of the pain.
©2016MichelleWelch, team member of Breath Of Life Women’s Ministry
photography by Michelle Welch, all rights reserved
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